It’s your 70th Birthday today. God how I wish you were here, how I wish I could hug you, and sit with you. I want to hear your voice and hear your laugh, but it’s just a faint echo that I can’t quite catch anymore. 17 years feels like an eternity and my memory is too foggy.
And there’s pain and guilt for letting you down, for not doing more for you, for not being better for you and there’s an ache because you were my best friend and you meant so much and I’m sad for all you’ve missed and will continue to miss. And I’ve let you down, I’m not living my life, I’m just existing in a lonely isolated world and you’d be so disappointed because you wanted me to live and be happy but I don’t know how.
I wish you were here Mum, I love you